Sleep or Fun Times

I had an opportunity to go hang out with a really great friend the other evening but my day was so hectic and nowadays I start turning into a pumpkin around 8:30 pm. I ended up canceling because I wanted to be at my best and that day was not it. I mean I even ran around the mall for a new pair of sexy jeans and top but I still could not gather up enough energy to get going. I felt so terrible my friend was here from out of town. I tried drinking an energy drink, taking a vitamin, washing my face but to no avail. I had the whole night child free to hang out, have a cocktail and have a real adult conversation and what do I do. Long for my empty bed to try to catch up on my sleep. I felt I was going to be such a drag with sleepy eyes. Should I of cancelled? Yes and No. I got some much needed rest but I missed out on a fun time. I regret that I didn't go but I also am glad I didn't. I would of not been at my best not that I always am. Being a single mom is a lot of work and getting precious time to sleep is invaluable so is also getting the chance to hang out with friends other than a playgroup. I say from now on I need to practice what I do everyday when I'm tired which is soak it up and find my energy burst and go have a good time. I can always catch up on sleep during those rare long nap times!

I'm a MAC

I bought my first Mac! I love it! I will never go back! 

Mini Bottles Sparkling & Cupcakes

So I realized that the mini bottles of wine are actually great for Single Mom's. I kept finding that every time I opened a good bottle of wine I never had time to get back to it. So I thought hmmm.... if I could just find some good mini wine bottles then I could just have the one glass I have time for and no worries about a good bottle of wine gone bad. Problem solved. I realized that a lot of the good brands make mini bottles so here it is my new found world. Although so very very compact I only use them at home obviously. Even though I pack mini bottles of water and apple juice for my daughter I resist the mini bottles of escape for me while on the go. So I'm in this transition right now and I needed some cupcakes. Sprinkles Cupcakes just opened up finally in the Bay. I'm so excited but have not been able to get there. So I go to one my fav gourmet grocery stores because their cupcakes are 3rd next to mine own and to Sprinkles and will do. I come across the most amazing find! Although I heard about these a long time ago I forgot about them until I saw them. Perfect for me in every way! Sofia Coppola made these cute pink mini bottles of Sparkling White Wine. They come with a mini pink straw. So Chick Fab and so right! It is probably disgusting all men right now but for us Single Mom's it's a perfect small treat. I know I know I have been focusing a lot on alcohol but mind you I barely have time to go to the bathroom let alone get drunk. I can't even remember the last time I have been drunk? I think it was right before my daughter was conceived-Wow seems so close yet so long ago. Cheers!

Mini Wine & Ol' Pathetic Blog Entry

Is it pathetic that my Friday Nights are being spent putting my little Butterfly to sleep and then downing mini bottles of wine while typing on this blog? Okay yes. But for now that's the way it is, well not the mini bottles of wine. I just happened to have them usually I go for the big peoples bottle. Actually we are at my parents tonight and I bought them for over here being I'm the only one here that enjoys wine and every time I buy a big bottle my parents look at me like "all to yourself?" My parents are funny. They have one of those 50 or more anniversary years type of marriage. My Dad always reminices to me about my Mom and him dating and having fun in their younger years. They met at a club. The Harlem Club to be exact and they are still going. How do they do it? How did they do it?. They do it with comedy they make me laugh all the time with the silly things they do around each other. They are both stuck in their ways and my Dad says he is constantly compromising or if not he is just saying "so be it"I guess that's a compromise. I think that's how their generation does it. I hope to meet someone who will be as adventurous as I am and ready to travel the world and still have dinner parties and be involved in the community and stuff when we retire. That's if I ever retire I can't imagine it. I love to work oddly, well I guess I always like having something going on I hate to have things quiet. Obviously I haven't had anything exciting happen lately in my single life. Oh yeah I thought my car was breaking down and when I took it into the Dealer they said it was because my Louis key wallet was too heavy for the ignition. So now I have to keep my house keys, wallet and car key separate. Oh no I can see it now! What am I'm going to do? I will lose one or more of those things. Which is why I thought my big concoction was perfect! So there it is. The life of a single mom. So exciting! I am in plenty of Mommy groups but those are usually in the afternoon or at a park which is great! But I remember being bored in LA while I was out and what was I complaining about I had so much to do. I was turning stuff down and hoping for a night home alone. HA! I no longer want that I want some loud restaurants, crowded bar spaces, dark lighting and my girlfriends and I all dancing the night away. Well I'll have to wait a little right now three of my friends are having kids. It's so funny almost all of them now have or are having kids. It's pretty cool. I can't wait to share this experience with them. But it was only so little while ago we were all prettied up and taking over the club or bar. Now we're Moms! Too crazy but amazing and best thing ever! I'm listening to The Game and new Metallica on my Ipod. Pretty random it actually is mashing pretty good. Oh yeah and Amy Winehouse "Wake Up Alone" -need I say more?

Do Over or Cocktails

Do you ever one of those days when you wish you could take it all back and have a do over? Today is one of those days for me. I need cocktails!

Chocolate Cake, Wine & Coffee

I'm in a little bit of a transition well little it really isn't I'm in huge transition in life, everything is in a whirlpool right now- career, location, family, financial. Everything is in a change at this moment. Here this is where being single sucks! I wish someone would just hold my hand through it all. But at the same time I'm glad I don't have anyone around as well so I can settle things down and get back to normal so I can be a good someone to be around. Thank God for chocolate cake, red wine and/or coffee. Not that I am sitting around gorging on it and getting drunk, fat or wired off of coffee that's not the sight I am creating. It's just a nice piece of cake and a few bites here and there when I need it and a nice mellow smooth glass of red wine to ease some of the stress or coffee to get me up and going. I play music and light candles and kick back, reading, working or watching mindless reality TV. I know that in these times I grow and gain wisdom but it feels so isolating at times. Does this mean I'm being forced to change to let someone new in? It's a good thought and I know I am getting rid of some of the past which is nice and refreshing! I have learned to embrace these times and take it on with a good spirit. Even though I cry and get frustrated I know it's all supposed to be. So I concentrate on what's to come all the Good, Love, Laughter and feelings of wow that was all worth it! Okay maybe too melodramatic the fact is these times suck but you just somehow know within that it will only be for a short time and things will be better at the end of it all. I have a lot to be thankful for and things aren't so bad I'm talking about when your out of your comfort level and have to take action. I remember when I was in a relationship and I was thinking it was too vanilla, no action, no challenges and now guess what I got my challenges that I asked the Universe for! So now I am asking that doors open to where I am supposed to be and that I will have the wisdom to recognize them being open. I also need to get out a little more. I have been in hiding so I need some fun times and I need to explore. I missed being my own person, I missed my freedom, I missed my True Self. So now I am able to have all of these things back and it'e nice, it's just a bit of a transition again.

Fun Times

Okay long time no post. I can't believe how much time has passed since I last posted. I thought actually that I would not have to post to this any longer because I thought I had found "The One". Hehehe Is there such a thing? Although somewhere deeply I knew he wasn't. He wasn't my Kindred Spirit or Soul Mate because I recognize those feelings. Those feelings make you crazy in love been there done that. I was in love just not crazily. I won't mention his name or much about him due to the fact that we share a beautiful daughter together. Moving on...Yes it's true I went away and came back a Single Mom although this blog is not about that I have another one for that. This one will continue to focus on my single life which as of today is not very exciting. If you count the highlight being a trip to Starbucks everyday exciting. I do have some great male friends around that are always around me but not sure if that counts. Some of it does most of them are guys I dated and then befriended them afterwards for some reason. Probably because when I usually date someone and get that close it's because I feel some sort of honest and true connection with them and it lasts even after the relationship. But the last person I didn't feel that I just thought hmmmm this is different maybe it would work better. Is this making sense? Well all I can say is that (whoever is or is not reading this) never settle and always know that if you feel there is more well there usually is. Or so I hope. I've seen it in action by some of the people I know and their relationships where their guy is in to them even after two kids and all that. So I know my someone is out there. I wonder what is he doing & How long will it take for him to find me or me find him. Pathetic? I don't know I'm just typing my thoughts. Well I know he's out there like some pathetic "Charlotte"! But truly I do he's just busy right now and I'm busy trying to settle my life down a bit for him to come into it. So it's late and I have some me time to do stuff like this instead of being on date but those days are not over. As soon as I start putting myself out there this may get more interesting-hopefully. I've been obsessing over my baby weight it's not too bad but just not where I was prior to preggers. It's so funny how I would complain about weight and I was complaining because Why? Oh my size 5 jeans were a little snug now and then- oohh what weight problems I had back then...it makes me laugh. At least now that I've crossed the size line I know I will appreciate my size more. I'm just happy that I actually love to run and look forward to training for a Marathon soon. SO I'm getting there and getting more confidant. A very handsome guy told me last night on the phone that if I still wear my fishnets and make up and be and act sexy it doesn't matter what size you are. It's how you work it. So I'm working it more and more everyday regaining my old sense of self. I'm grateful I get the opportunity to do so because in my last relationship I was not able to. Meaning able to be myself -true sense of self. Only a few people can bring it out of me and those people know me well and are still active in my life and well being. I thank God for them! Well good thoughts on future love, sex and fun! Oh yeah good thing there is spelling feature on here -so much for placing in the 3rd grade City spelling bee!

I'm back Wow didn't think I would be but here I am.....more to come, Lot's more!

A MARILYN EXPERIENCE
So I had errands to run downtown today...thinking parking always sucks and I don't want to waste money in a garage and I'm only a few well, sorta blocks away plus I super need the exercise. So I get ready high heels and all wearing my new black DKNY skirt (I actually already have one in white). It's a deceiving skirt because it's pleated all the way around but the front pleats have slits that slide up about 5 inches from my knee. Anyways, I'm toting my black business purse that hangs over my shoulders, plus my laptop bag. One block, two blocks, three...what was I thinking....the bags are already starting to feel heavy and my skirt keeps creeping up it's a tad too big, but really because the bags are shifting as I walk. This skirt is everywhere up and then around my legs, then creeping up my backside, the splits are reacting in not the best fashion. I'm walking shifting, adjusting and my feet are killing me. I'm always good in heals for long periods of time, but with all this gear it's too much, I start to actually get why the state working women wear tennis shoes-a fashion flub I normally despise. Anyways, what seems like 12 blocks later I arrive at my first destination happy to get a break and brief rest. After that I have to find a FEDEX Kinkos which is super close but I have no idea. As I'm walking I feel this amazing breeze- wow I needed that I'm hot and exhausted I'm walking over one of the sidewalk vents, well then there's another huge breeze and wooooaaaaa my skirt flys up and there I am all to see. Good news I'm matching underwear today but the bad news all of downtown saw my butt. I'm sooo embarrassed. I keep going and 2 calls to 411 later I find it but not before I walked 5 blocks extra for no reason. While in Kinko's this older african american woman who knows every customer and everyone knows her is passing out hugs and how have you been to them. I noticed her immediately because her hair looks like a big wool wig but I think she just blowed dried it and curled it with dry curlers. She was really nice she kept saying she knows me from somewhere, I get that a lot I tried to tell her I'm not from here but she went on. Anyways, I finally got done an hour later and man, I have to walk back. I guess it wasn't so bad, I needed to get to know my neighborhood a bit and the walk felt great! When I got back to my loft I immediately soaked my feet and washed them in foot scrub then I put shea butter lotion and covered them with some thick cotton socks. Boy, I need a pedicure.